


Show Me Your Darkness

by evilgrrl



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Daddy Kink, Dirty Talk, Enthusiastic Consent, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, HEA, Kinktober 2018, Not Suitable/Safe For Work, Oral Sex, Orgasm Delay, Praise Kink, Romantic Fluff, Safewords, Sexual Fantasy, Short One Shot, Teasing, The Author Regrets Everything, rey is a sub, rey is masochistic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-08-05 02:56:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16359386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evilgrrl/pseuds/evilgrrl
Summary: Rey and Ben can finally be together, now that the truce between the First Order and the Resistance has been signed. Their sex life is great, except... sometimes Rey misses the Old Kylo, the one who so ardently pursued her from the very beginning, and dominates her fantasies even now.Is there a way to get that part of him back? And if so, is there a way for Rey to ask for it without dying of embarrassment?





	Show Me Your Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to tell a happy, smutty, Reylo story with explicit consent.

“Light is easy to love. Show me your darkness.” - R.Queen

 

Rey knew she should tell him. 

She was in the shower -- with real water, not a sonic shower – and she was just luxuriating in it. She loved to turn the water up really hot and just let it pour down over her body. With her favorite liquid soap that smelled so good. Wonderful. 

Baths were good too, but they didn't stay hot enough for long enough. So, a shower it was after a long day in stupid meetings about things she could barely comprehend, like the APR of tax subsidies in a cap and trade agreement with some planet she hadn't even heard of. 

While she was there in the shower, though, she started to think about Ben, his glossy black hair, pale scarred skin, wine dark eyes, and those pouty lips that she just wanted to suck and bite. She loved his body, too, so big and muscular. Thinking about Ben's body, however, led to thinking about sex. And thinking about sex reminded her that she should tell him what she wanted. 

By now, she'd taken several classes in human sexuality, and read a number of books on clear communications. She knew she couldn't expect Ben to read her mind. It wasn't fair to either of them, especially since she knew he worried about hurting her. 

Rey had been told you shouldn't discuss sex while you were doing it, because that could get too emotional too quickly. She needed to find a time when they were alone, both of them relaxed and centered and able to deal with whatever upset her request might create. 

She pondered it as she turned the water off and the dryer on. The warm air was nice too, but not as nice as the actual shower. Anyway, it wasn't easy to find a time like that, when both of them were busy all the time. 

Creating a new governing body for the galaxy was more difficult than she could have imagined. The level of detail was mind-numbing. Neither she nor Kylo had ever wanted to be politicians, but at least he had grown up around politics, and he knew how it worked. She had been drawn in almost against her will, knowing nothing, but being valued for her common sense and ability to think outside the box. 

So Rey and Kylo -- now Ben -- did their duty. They attended meetings, wrote papers, and listened to constituents from many different planets. 

Ben arranged a counseling program for Storm Troopers who'd never had to think for themselves before and needed to figure out how to lead independent lives. He found new positions for First Order staff who were “salvageable” in political parlance. He made recommendations on various inter-galactic situations based on intel from his former First Order spy network. Ben, who had never been “good” with people, was now weighing in on the fate of many of them. The empathy and compassion he had developed in his relationship with Rey served him well. Rey herself had thought it was fitting, since he had been the one to enable the peace treaty between the First Order and the Resistance in the first place. 

Rey set up networking opportunities for Resistance members who'd never thought beyond tomorrow, because they'd never thought they'd live to see it. She found engineers like Rose Tico, who could take weapons of war apart and re-purpose them in peaceful pursuits. She met Resistance veterans and appeared on the holonet more frequently than she would have liked to inspire and encourage citizens of the galaxies. Sometimes she and Ben even appeared together. Those times were a complete circus. 

All of that took a toll, however. Ben and Rey spent as much time together as they could, but sometimes a trip for just one of them was unavoidable, and they hated being separated. The closer they were physically, the more the Force resonated, so that they worked almost as two hands of the same person. The further apart they were physically, the more the Force whined and reproached them, emphasizing their individual weaknesses and flaws. At this point, they were really only happy when they were in each other's presence. 

The time they had to spend apart also handicapped their intimacy, which was better when they had time for casual mornings eating breakfast in bed, or slow evenings when they could just watch a holo and relax. Those occasions were becoming fewer and farther apart. 

She continued to think over the problem as she dressed for the morning's appointments. It wasn't anything too strenuous today, just a status report on how the technology of the Resistance and the First Order could be combined most effectively and easily. Some of the First Order people seemed to think that these matters could be handled through messages and holos alone, but Rey knew that being in the same room together was the best thing for some of these people. If they didn't know and trust each other, they wouldn't cooperate as much as they could, and messages and holos sucked for establishing trust. 

Ben seemed content with their sex life, and Rey guessed she probably seemed completely satisfied to him too. They made love frequently and enthusiastically, but sometimes Rey craved more. . . intensity, the kind they'd had in their first days as a couple, when they could barely believe they could be together and actually touch each other. The ferocity with which they had fought each other in the beginning had turned into a wild intensity during their later lovemaking. It was that frenzied passion that Rey missed. 

She fantasized about it, though, even when they were having sex. Especially when they were having sex. 

Sometimes she imagined they were back on Takodana for the first time, when he had hunted her like the predator he had been, helmet obscuring his features, leading with that red lightsaber ahead of him that was as unstable as it looked. He paralyzed her with the Force, which had enabled him to get close enough to talk to her without them actually having to fight. At the time, she had been almost completely panicked and wouldn't have stood still long enough to chat if she'd had any choice in the matter. 

In her mind now, however, she could control everything. It could happen just the way she wanted it to. She imagined that when Kylo carried her back to his shuttle, it wasn't for interrogation. 

Rey recreated the interior of the shuttle in her head, except now it was furnished with a big bed in a private room, where she awoke to find Kylo Ren removing his mask and stroking her face, then kissing her feverishly, before holding her down and turning her inside out with his incredible stamina and enthusiasm. The thought of that alone during sex was almost enough to bring her to orgasm. 

At other times, she pictured one big gloved hand on her throat and the other squeezing her breast so hard it hurt, just a little. In her fantasy, she was unable to see his eyes because of the mask, and his voice was just an impersonal electronic imitation of speech. 

She was completely overwhelmed and unable to control her sexual arousal, so she was not to blame for how wet she became at his touch. She wasn't responsible for the embarrassing sounds that came out of her own mouth, at first begging to be released, then later begging for a different kind of release. It was his fault that she became so wanton. There wasn't anything she could do . . . except enjoy every dirty, deviant thing her fantasy Kylo did to her. 

The imagination and passion were real, but outside of her fantasies, Ben was soft and almost reverent. He was so afraid of doing anything that might frighten or hurt her, that she ended up wishing for something more. More heated. More forceful. 

The previous night, for example, he had gone down on her very thoroughly, but so gently, that it had become a challenge for her to come. 

“Harder,” she had whispered. He had pushed his tongue deeper inside her, sucked her clit more intensively, but didn't seem to understand what she really wanted. She had grasped his head and pulled him to her more roughly, hoping he would comprehend. He'd told her before he loved it when she became a bit out of control, pulling his hair too hard and pushing her pussy against his mouth. Why did she have such a difficult time telling him she wanted something similar from him? She hadn't even grown up with other humans. How had she managed to become so inhibited? 

Rey decided to broach the subject the next time it presented itself to her. 

It took a couple of nights, but eventually Rey arranged their evening so that they were both home with nothing scheduled and no early meeting the next day. Rey suggested they read and snuggle after dinner, instead of getting more work done, or sparring, or catching up on correspondence. 

Ben agreed easily. His day hadn't been too demanding, but he hadn't been able to spend enough time with her lately either. He just wanted to be with her, to feel her in his arms and know they belonged to each other. 

Rey didn't even take off her clothes. She just kicked off her shoes, as she would have done if she had really meant to just cuddle. 

Ben, however, removed his shirt and kept on only his sleep shorts, so he could drift off to sleep whenever he felt like it, as he often did. That might make complicate things a bit for Rey, because she hoped it wouldn't turn into sex right away. She really needed him to listen and understand what she was longing for, and she wasn't sure how she could bring it up again if she wasn't able to get it out this time. 

Even now, the nearness of his almost naked body was very distracting. Possibly too distracting. If she started to look at the broadness of his shoulders and imagine the satiny warmth of his chest, the way his pulse throbs just below the skin, which tastes fresh and clean and yet somehow mysterious. . . Well, she could easily lose her train of thought and just have sex then and there. She promised herself she'd just close her eyes if it got to be too much for her. 

Rey had considered how to approach it with him a hundred times. She wanted to him to know that it was him she needed this with, not just anyone. 

Rey also hoped it would be something he wanted too. She was pretty sure she would enjoy it even if he only did it for her sake, but it would be so much hotter if he also found her fantasies exciting. 

They sat side by side on their big bed with the white sheets and the black comforter. They were touching shoulders and leaning back against the headboard with their reading screens in their laps when she brought it up. 

“Ben, can I talk to you about something?”

His caramel and walnut brown eyes glanced up at her from his reader right away. Did he know what effect they still had on her? That she often felt like she could stare at them until she fell in?

“Sure, Rey. Of course.” He set his screen off to the side without a second thought and gave her his full attention. Kriff, she thought to herself, anyone else would be happy just to have a lover this attentive. Why did she need to ask for more?

Rey felt a clumsy embarrassment bloom in her chest. She hadn't had anyone to talk about sex with when she growing up, and the idea of telling him what she liked or asking him for what she wanted made her feel vulnerable and needy. That was one reason she read and took classes, instead of merely talking things over with her friends. It was less personal, less revealing.

She shifted to face him better, and he put his arm around her, long fingers settling onto her waist. She felt soothed just being near to him, having him touch her. It made her feel secure and settled in a way she never had before. 

She still had to struggle to look Ben in the eyes as she talked, but she did her best. “Do you remember how you said, before, about how much it turns you on when, um, I get more assertive with you?” she asked quietly, forcing herself to focus. 

“Uh-huh,” he agreed right away. “Like when you get on top of me and grind? I love that.”

Rey had to break eye contact. It was just too intense, and this was difficult enough already. “Yeah. And... like, when I bite your neck.”

“And rake your nails down my back? Yes,” he agreed, bending down to nuzzle her hair. “That's really hot.” She loved feeling his breath on her skin. She tried to absorb it directly into her body.

“Well, I...” She stopped and had to start again, “Maybe I would like...” She still couldn't get the words out. What if she asked him and he was repulsed? What if he made a face? Maybe it was okay that a man liked that sort of thing, but maybe women weren't supposed to? She didn't have enough experience to know. It didn't make any sense, she knew, but… a lot of things didn't.

“What would you like? Tell me, baby,” Ben whispered into her ear, as if someone might overhear. That was one of the things he did that always turned her on, acting as if they needed privacy, to keep their feelings secret from everyone else, even though everyone knew that they were together now. 

“It's, um, hard to request this,” she stammered back, feeling a burning in her stomach. “It feels really scary, when I'm afraid you might... laugh at me, or think I'm gross.” 

Ben kissed her head, and pulled her a little closer to encourage her. “I promise I won't laugh or think you're gross. I love you, all of you, and I accept you the way you are. I don't love you in spite of what you think is wrong with you; I love those things too. You can say anything to me.”

“But what if it really was something grotesque? What if you could never think of me the same way again after I said it?” She felt tears prick her eyes and blinked them away in frustration.

“Rey, it's easy to love the parts of you that everyone sees. You're a good person. Kind and compassionate, strong and tough. I love all of you, though. I want to see the parts you feel like you can't show anyone else.” He kissed her check and her forehead. “Share your dark side with me. You've seen mine. You know I can take it.” 

She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, taking in the lightly musky smell of his body, with a lingering trace of the leather he still wore habitually, and the herbal shampoo he used. She centered herself in her body, feeling every part of it, being in it and in the moment with nothing else, the way she had been trained to. Calmness slipped over her slowly, and she opened her eyes again. 

“I love the way you make love to me, Ben. Sometimes, though...” Another breath. “Sometimes I would like you to be a little more...rough. To like, hold me down, and just… ravish me,” she blurted out. “To just do what you want with me. Like you can't even help yourself.” Rey felt her hands shaking now, and it was getting harder for her to breath. 

“Sweet girl,” Ben spoke softly into her ear. “I would love to ravish you, if that's what you want. I'll do anything you ask.” He stroked her hair softly, running his fingers through it. “Sometimes I'm afraid of letting that part of myself out to play with you. I worry it will...get out of hand, but if that's what you want, we can try it.”

Now Rey felt a swell of anxiety. She turned her face up to his. “I don't want you to do anything that scares you. I don't need you to do anything that would remind you of the bad times.”

His large warm hand moved from her hair to brush her cheek. “It won't. I haven't done it before because I wasn't interested in sex very much before you. Snoke didn't want me to have any healthy outlets. I just... sublimated all that energy into my training. Now though, I want you all the time. I love having sex. I want to try everything with you.” He sighed and looked into her eyes. “I would need to know I wasn't really hurting you, though. And I wouldn't want to start playing that way when you didn't want it, or feel up to it.”

In Rey's fantasies, Kylo never actually hurt her. But that wasn't realistic. He wouldn't be able to read her mind and know when she wanted him to stop any more than he could read her mind to know what she wanted him to do without her telling him. 

She had a sudden idea.

“What if I call you Daddy?” Rey spoke up. “You know things are going well when I do that.”

He kissed her mouth, pressing those plush lips into hers. “You're right. I love it when you call me that. I know you like what I'm doing when you say it.”

Their faces were still close enough to touch. Rey could see small scars marking his face like his moles and freckles. She thought they were exquisite. “You can always ask if I want to play. That could be our little code word for it.”

“But what if you want me to stop?

“I can just say stop, right?”

“Of course, but we need something else to do if I don't hear you. Maybe you could tap out, like when we're sparring. That way, if I didn't catch one signal, you could try the other?”

“Yes,” she agreed, becoming more enthusiastic. “That's a good way to think of it. Sometime sparring does seems like sex. Sometimes when we're sparring, I want to just do it right then and there.” She smiled shyly at him.

“Me, too,” he agreed. “It just always seemed like it would be wrong somehow.” He laughed a little, a rare sound she adored. “Like I shouldn't want to.” He rubbed his nose against hers now, nuzzling her. 

She traced her fingers up his neck into that soft hair of his. “Oh, no, daddy, that's so hot. I want to do that too. We'd have to lock the door first.” 

Now he was kissing her ear, lightly licking its outer rim. “So you don't think that's sick? Turning fighting into fucking?”

Rey pulled her hands through his hair slowly, enjoying the silky feel of it. “No, no, it's really hot. We should try that. Definitely.”

Ben's mouth had trailed down her neck and was sucking little kisses into her collarbones. “Yeah, we should. But maybe not right now. Maybe tomorrow.” He pulled away just far enough to unfasten Rey's top and pull it off, baring her body to him. 

“Definitely not now,” she agreed, arching her back and thrusting her breasts out for him. 

He lightly squeezed one breast while his mouth went to work on the other. Both nipples were already erect and his hot tongue felt amazing on her skin. 

“Do you want to play now, Daddy?” she asked She raised her hands over her head and crossed them. “You could hold me down if you wanted.” Rey didn't know if he wanted it, but she certainly did.

He took her meaning immediately, pulling her down completely onto the bed, then grasped her crossed wrists and pushed them down into the mattress, as if to hold her in place. Improvising, he bit the nipple he'd just had in his mouth and heard her cry out in pleasure. 

“Keep them there,” Ben told Rey, meaning her hands, as he moved his own away, and she breathlessly agreed that she would. 

He traced his long fingers down her body, making her shiver, before he reached her sex. He pulled her panties aside, and slipped one finger into her pussy. Then, moaning, he squeezed in one more, then another. “Oh, baby, you're so wet. You really do like this, don't you?” 

Excitement felt like liquid electricity in her veins, expanding in their trace work from her heart all over her body. “Yes, I do, Daddy. Fuck me!” 

He lowered his mouth to where his fingers had entered her, then kissed firmly everywhere except the place she most wanted him to. “Ben,” she pleaded. 

“Not so fast, baby girl. I'm not sure you deserve to be fucked.” With his other hand, he pulled away the skin that shielded her clit from view, exposing it. He blew on it, and felt her clench around his fingers. 

She groaned instead of answering, and he softly licked her labia, already wet with her arousal, but still not her clit. The taste of her made him want to dive right in, but he continuing teasing her mercilessly. 

“I need you to use your words,” he whispered into the brownish pink folds of her cunt. “Tell me why you think you're good enough for Daddy to fuck you.”

Her hips spasmed involuntarily and lifted her hips up to his mouth, which still wasn't doing what she so desperately wished it would. 

“I've been good,” she blurted out. “I told you what I wanted. And it was really hard!”

Ben chuckled to himself and continued stroking his tongue up and down her labia, always stopping just short of where it would be most effective. “That's true,” he agreed.

Her legs were trembling with the tension. “Oh, and I was really brave and said it anyway!” She rushed out what she had to say, as if it were all one long word. 

“That's my girl,” Ben said approvingly, and finally began touching her clit with his tongue very gently, knowing it would not be enough. 

“Harder!” she pleaded. “More! Please, Daddy!”

Ben relented, and circled his tongue wetly around the clit, then lapped it as hard and fast as he could. After a few moments, Rey's body stiffened into ecstasy as she came, continuing even now to hold her hands over her head the way he had told her to, and thrusting herself against his face.

Rey often called out his name when she climaxed, but now the only thing she could verbalize was a high pitched shriek of satisfaction. Her pussy contracted around his fingers so hard he thought they might break. Pre-cum was dripping off the tip of his cock, but he wasn't able to move quickly enough to enter her. No matter. He was right there with her in his own intense orgasm, coming harder than he had in a long time. 

When Ben had his breath back, he pulled himself up over Rey and rained kisses all over her face. “I think that was one of the best ever,” he whispered to her, “and I wasn't even inside you.” He took her wrists -- still held obediently over her head -- into his hands and brought them down to her chest so she could relax. 

She was unable to speak for a minute, still trying to get her own breathing and shaking under control. Ben stared into her eyes, to make sure she was listening. 

“I love you more than I have ever loved anything, Rey. And I always will.”

**Author's Note:**

> I added more fluff than usual. Okay? 
> 
> Too teachy/preachy?
> 
> Let me know!
> 
> Kudos are my life's blood. 
> 
> Comments make my day! 
> 
> Come see me on Tumblr!  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/evilgrrl
> 
> or Twitter  
> https://twitter.com/evilgrrl


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